I've been trying to figure out some of this for the last couple of years, especially since my weight went through such a change. (the following sentances may or may not be true, and probably vary greatly from individual to individual...)

I think there are two things happening - 1) we are in a society where everyone thinks everyone else is trying to lose weight - I mean if I am, you are right? Everyone wants to look like a supermodel don't they? The world is on Atkins or southbeach, one ya' know. So if this is the case why not encourage each other.

2) I think we (as a society) equate happy vibrant energetic people with being thin. So if I see "Jannie" out and she looks all spunky and cheery and energetic and she's smiling and full of energy - she can't possibly be that way just because it is her nature, only the slendar can be those things, so in our little heads we equate that to "oh, she must be losing weight" that's why she is so happy - she can't possibly, OMG, be happy because she's in love and really, really likes herself the way she is.

We do so porly in our society with teaching self-esteem, and accepting it when we do see it - I wish this wasn't the case, but for many I fear it is true.

PS - I was recently looking through a European nude sight on-line and I noticed the same thing I had found in my Urban Outfitters and Dehlia's clothing catalogues - some of those young girls are so thin that they look sick. I can't beleive what the media and advertising folks are doing to our young. I'd really like to pull out some old Seventeen magazines and compare the images I got to the ones they are promoting today.

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People also need to realize that there are different body types - some people will never, ever fit into the "thin" type, even if they aren't overweight, because their body type simply isn't that way. My sister is built like me, she has shoulders like a linebacker and is only a few inches shorter - she will never, ever look like anyone on the cover of a magazine. Neither will I. Gotta love those Scotch-German genes :). But we're ok with that, neither of our self-images are based around looking like magazine models. Few other people need to be either. But you're not going to hear that from most of our society.

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I have the same situation. All the women in my family are 250+lbs. Men too. Both father and mother's side. Everyone in my genetic tree is either overweight, or seriously, i mean needs a wheelchair cuz they are so fat they can't walk anymore, obese. I have to watch what I eat and work out to stay at 185. But I work out because I feel better when I do. Energy is up, sex drive is up, I sleep better and feel all around more positive. I eat healthy all the time, but if I go somewhere known for good burgers, I am eating a burger, not a side salad with fat free dressing. I will not give up cheese in pursuit of a body that frankly no matter how hard I work will ever be mine.

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Your thoughts make sense. I agree that attitude goes so far in how people perceieve you. You are as sexy and hot as you put out there. I mean, I am overweight when compared to what society says is normal, but the reaction I get from poeple is that my body is smoking. That is because I believe it to be so, therefore people pick up on my confidence, and that equals "she must be getting skinny".
Whatever. I just answer, "thanks, yeah I'm hitting the treadmill" (like I always have and always will)

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oops, this was in response to Kittymel's comment.

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...and I still fit into the prom dress I had when I was 18 - not that I was a skinny waif then, either!

I loathe the constant appraisals/discussions of my ass, my tits, my weight. Bodies, for the most part, are accidents of DNA, and I wish that people would focus on clothes or the way I carry myself or common interests, or, better yet, forgo bullshit small talk altogether.

The "wow, have you lost weight" comment is usually a sign that they have nothing more...um...weighty to discuss.

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I must say that the way you carry yourself is the first thing I noticed about you. Your walk is comanding and sexy. Your confidence shines through and takes over a room. That is hot, and has nothing to do with the shape/size of any body part.

p.s.
Your booty is divine, sorry for the praise and discussion of your ass, but damn it is praise worthy :)

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...well, not the response I thought I was gonna get to that post, but coming from you, thanks! ;)

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wow, I never get that, I get the opposite, I always get "You've gained weight recently" esp from family, who are all on the heavy tall side and I'm the runt of the all-female litter, married into big boned Scot-German's, and was expected to always hover at 100 lbs and am now in my 30's, a mommy, and weight in at a disgusting 140 in my undies. I consider myself obese.

Fact is, I envy the confidence of skinny and thin women, I honestly would abuse my body to lose weight to look and feel better, I just lack the self-discipline and mental illness to do so. I have weight issues. I eat nonethless:) I have a muscular build I wish I could shrink the muscles of.

I am stuck in this body tho and nothing I can do will ever make it what I want it to be or need it to be to consider myself sexy again. I am just glad I have a great brain, even if people rarely notice it, I have a damn attractive brain:)

You are proportional, healthy and huggable, exactly what a woman should be!

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Pixie, your body is great. I am telling you, your boobs are wonderful, your waist is small, and your hips are in line with your shoulders. All you need is a bra that fits, and lifts your magnificent breasts up, wear clothes that flatter, and I bet the reaction you get from people would be much different. Like I said above, the way you present yourself and your attitude about yourself speaks way louder than you think.
Remember, pleae be kind to your body, because it is kind enough to let you live there. It makes me very very sad to hear you speak of your body this way. To use the word disgusting in describing your own self, that makes me sad. Being a certain weight on the scale does not make you sexy, the way you feel about yourself is sexy. The way you carry yourself is sexy, not the size of your jeans. think sexy + feel sexy = sexy. that simple.
I will quote back to you exactly what you just said to me -
You - you PIXIE - are proportional, healthy, and huggable, exactly what a woman should be.

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So it just happened again! A good friend, and she is totally hippy, not into body image stuff at all, meets me up at the botanical garden today. First things she says is "I feel like you look like you lost weight" I told her what I had written in my lj today, and that I weigh exactly what I weighed before she left for Germany 3 weeks ago. She is a getting her docotorate in social economics, so that will give you an idea about how liberal / un-washed hippy she is. She seems oblivious to fashion and body conerns, and tho she is skinny herself, never diets or works out.
I really think that people remember me fatter than I am, and are then shocked to see me not that fat when they see me again. Very weird. Maybe it has to do with the particular shirt I am wearing, tighter vs. a baggier one the last time you saw me kinda thing.
I will have to pose this question to her, she and her professor husband love stuff like this. Being social scientists and all.

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that was from me, stupid lj.

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Does this ass make me look fat?

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So I had some more thoughts. I think that people think that someone that is fat must be unhappy about it. therefore, saying something nice like "you look like you've lost weight" would give the fat person a little lift. Or, maybe since people that know me know that I work out on a regular, so they assume I have lost some poounds, or think that the comment will give me some encouragement. (poor fat girl, works out and is still fat!) I wonder if everyone thinks that working out is only to loose weight, not just cuz it's fun.

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